姻亲 · In-laws
In-Laws in Chinese: the words change with you
This is the part phrasebooks skip. Chinese in-law terms are not symmetrical: the same relationship gets a different word depending on whether you are the wife or the husband. A woman marries into 公公 and 婆婆; a man marries into 岳父 and 岳母.
The short answer
gōng gong
father-in-law (husband's father)
Husband's father — a woman speaking.
pó po
mother-in-law (husband's mother)
Husband's mother — a woman speaking.
yuè fù
father-in-law (wife's father)
Wife's father — a man speaking.
yuè mǔ
mother-in-law (wife's mother)
Wife's mother — a man speaking.
Which one should you use?
The wife calls her husband's father 公公 and his mother 婆婆. A man never uses these for his wife's parents.
The husband calls his wife's father 岳父 and her mother 岳母. Colloquial: 老丈人 and 丈母娘.
From the parents' point of view: 女婿 is your daughter's husband, 儿媳 is your son's wife.
The complete in-law set
Spouse's parents, spouse's siblings, your children's spouses, and the two families themselves.
| Term | Pinyin | English | Who exactly | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| gōng gong | father-in-law (husband's father) | your husband's father — a woman speaking | A man never uses 公公 for his wife's father; that is 岳父. | |
| pó po | mother-in-law (husband's mother) | your husband's mother — a woman speaking | Do not confuse with 外婆 (maternal grandmother), which sounds similar to some learners. | |
| yuè fù | father-in-law (wife's father) | your wife's father — a man speaking | Colloquial: 老丈人 lǎozhàngren. | |
| yuè mǔ | mother-in-law (wife's mother) | your wife's mother — a man speaking | Colloquial: 丈母娘 zhàngmǔniáng. | |
| nǚ xù | son-in-law | your daughter's husband | From the parents' point of view. The daughter's husband is also 半个儿 (“half a son”) in a common saying. | |
| ér xí | daughter-in-law | your son's wife | Also 儿媳妇 ér xífu. | |
| dà bǎi zi | husband's older brother | your husband's older brother — a woman speaking | ||
| xiǎo shū zi | husband's younger brother | your husband's younger brother — a woman speaking | ||
| dà gū zi | husband's older sister | your husband's older sister — a woman speaking | ||
| xiǎo gū zi | husband's younger sister | your husband's younger sister — a woman speaking | ||
| dà jiù zi | wife's older brother | your wife's older brother — a man speaking | ||
| xiǎo jiù zi | wife's younger brother | your wife's younger brother — a man speaking | ||
| dà yí zi | wife's older sister | your wife's older sister — a man speaking | ||
| xiǎo yí zi | wife's younger sister | your wife's younger sister — a man speaking | ||
| qìng jia | child's in-laws | the parents of your child's spouse | Pronounced qìng jia, not qīn jiā. The two families call each other 亲家. |
Many couples address their spouse's parents as 爸 and 妈 in daily life; the terms above are for referring to them to other people, and for the first, more formal meetings.
In a sentence
你婆婆喜欢喝茶吗？Nǐ pópo xǐhuan hē chá ma?
Does your mother-in-law like tea? (said to a married woman)
我岳父是中学老师。Wǒ yuèfù shì zhōngxué lǎoshī.
My father-in-law is a middle-school teacher.
我们两家的父母是亲家。Wǒmen liǎng jiā de fùmǔ shì qìngjia.
Our parents are 亲家 — the two families linked by our marriage.
Common mistakes
- Using 公公 for your wife's father. If you are the husband, he is 岳父.
- Confusing 婆婆 (pópo, mother-in-law) with 外婆 (wàipó, maternal grandmother).
- Assuming the words are symmetrical. They are deliberately not: the speaker's gender changes the term.
- Forgetting 亲家 is pronounced qìng jia, not qīn jiā.
The cultural bit
What the word carries
The asymmetry is old: a woman traditionally moved into her husband's household, so her relationship with his parents was a daily, structural one, while a man's relationship with his wife's parents was more formal. The words still carry that history, even though modern couples often live independently and call both sets of parents 爸 and 妈.
Questions
Do Chinese people call their in-laws 爸爸 and 妈妈?
Often, yes. After marriage many people address their spouse's parents as 爸/妈 in everyday family settings, while using 公公/婆婆 or 岳父/岳母 when referring to them to others.
What is the difference between 公公 and 岳父?
公公 is your husband's father — used by a woman. 岳父 is your wife's father — used by a man. They are never interchangeable.
What does 亲家 mean?
The parents of your child's spouse; the two families are 亲家 (qìng jia). It is a relationship word, used when talking about the other family.
How do you say brother-in-law in Chinese?
It depends on whose brother and your gender: 大伯子/小叔子 for your husband's brothers, 大舅子/小舅子 for your wife's brothers, 姐夫/妹夫 for your sisters' husbands.
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